They Are Our Terrors
by accioamber
Summary: James Potter is afraid of something, and it's going to cause some problems...my entry to the Sickness challenge. Title taken from a poem by Rilke. Please R&R


**A/N: All the rights to Harry Potter belong to the lovely JK Rowling and her publishers, etc. **

**This is my entry for the Sickness challenge. My character, James Potter; his sickness, an unexplained and/or irrational fear. **

**I've never really written James before, so bare with me. =]**

**Enjoy!**

**Side note: Not much is known about the exact process of becoming an Animagus...at least not that I could find. For the sake of the story, I operated under the assumption that you weren't sure of what animal you would be until you had managed to succeed completely in your transformation (however that is accomplished lol). If anyone has any information that contradicts this, send it my way! =]**

"James!" Sirius burst through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room, walking over to his best friend; James had just booted three first years out of the comfy armchairs by the fire and had settled down to try and get some Charms homework done. He looked up as Sirius plopped down in one of the chairs across from him.

"What's up?" he asked, cracking open his textbook. "You look thrilled...catch ol' Snivelly on your own or something?" He asked with a wry smile.

"No, it's not that...listen, I..." Sirius looked around the crowded common room, a nervous look on his face. He leaned in until he was close to James and whispered, "I've done it! I can fully transform now!"

"Brilliant!" James said eagerly back to his friend. "Have you told Moony yet?"

"No, but he'll be glad. I'm just glad it happened a few days after you did it, you prat, thought your head was going to explode from all the gloating you've been doing." Sirius said, punching James lightly on the shoulder.

"Oh, come off it, you know I make an excellent stag." He whispered the last part as quietly as possible, casting another glance at everyone else. "I want to see yours. Tell the others we're going for a stroll tonight around midnight." He straightened up and said in a regular voice, "Now go away, I have Charms homework to do."

"Later, Prongs," Sirius said cheerfully, using the new nickname that Remus (fondly known as Moony), Peter and Sirius had given him a few nights ago, after his first successful transformation. He was now an official Animagus, something he and the others had been working hard towards for a long time. They had wanted to do everything they could to make Moony feel a little less horrible about his monthly transformations, and this was the best they could come up with. He was the first of his friends to be able to do this, and was completely happy that he'd ended up as a stag. He'd done it several times since then, getting the hang of it, and he was thrilled that Sirius had managed to do it now, too. He'd always thought in the back of his mind that Peter would be the last to become an Animagus; it was common knowledge that he was the least...talented, magically, of the Marauders. But certainly now that he and Sirius had accomplished it, Peter would follow...

Either way, James was excited to see his best friend's transformation that night. He realized that he had forgotten to ask what Sirius's Animagus form was, but he'd be seeing it soon enough.

A few hours later, James was finally finished with both his Charms and Transfiguration homework. All of their teachers had been working them to the bone, what with O.W.L.'s coming up, and he slammed all of his textbooks shut, shoving spare bits of parchment inside of them, and stood up. He stretched and looked around at everyone in the common room. Some first and second years were huddled in the corner, shooting him sideways glances with looks of admiration on their faces. He was, after all, James Potter, the Quidditch star, magically gifted and good in nearly all of his subjects, and ruggedly handsome (in his own not-so-humble opinion). He had everything he wanted-great friends, enough brains in his head to impress the teachers, and the right build and talent to be a phenomenal Chaser (again, in his own not-so-humble opinion)-except one thing. And she happened to be walking through the portrait hole right as he was thinking about her.

Lily Evans bustled into the Gryffindor common room, her long red hair flowing and her backpack hitched on one shoulder, a somewhat stormy look on her face. He pulled on the most charming smile he could muster up and flashed it at her, but she just glared at him. They'd had a conversation earlier that she was clearly still stuck on, one where James had asked her for the fourth time that week if she'd like to accompany him on the next Hogsmeade weekend, and for the fourth time she'd rejected him. He chuckled as he remembered what she'd said to him. _"For the millionth time, no, I will not go out with you. I'd rather be...be...Filch's assistant than go out with an arrogant boy whose idea of a good time is hexing people!"_

He waved at her, but she just turned and headed towards her dormitory. "Good night, Evans!" he called cheerfully to her, and then he looked over at the stairs that lead to his own dormitory. Sirius, Remus and Peter were heading towards him, the first two looking extremely happy, whereas Peter had a look of sulking clearly written over his face. James smiled at the three of them and they took up their spots in the same comfy armchairs by the fire.

"Suppose Sirius has told you the good news?" James mentioned casually to Remus, as if he was talking about a good exam grade or a date Sirius had secured for the weekend, instead of the fact that he'd mastered transforming into an animal, something very few grown, adult wizards could boast that they could do.

"Yes, he has," Remus said with a grin on his face. He'd started feeling a bit better about his lycanthropy now that his friends had gone to the lengths they had in order to be with him.

"Wish I could say the same," Peter muttered under his breath, kicking the coffee tale that was sitting in front of them. He crossed his pudgy arms and looked at the fire, a grimace set on his face.

"Ah, come off it, Peter, it'll happen for you soon," James said amiably, but there was an uncomfortable silence that followed as thoughts of doubt went through everyone's heads. He looked at his watch and saw that it was only 9:45pm. It would be a little while until the common room emptied totally and they'd be able to sneak out. Someone suggested a game of wizard's chess, and they played for a while.

A burly sixth year boy stuck it out in the common room until 12:15, but finally the four boys found themselves alone.

"Finally," Sirius moaned quietly, gathering the wizard's chess pieces and putting them back in the box. "I thought he'd never get out of here."

"Right, so we should probably get going. Same spot as usual?" James asked, referring to the secluded spot in the Forbidden Forest where they'd been hanging out all year. Everyone nodded. "Alright, who's got to sneak out on their own?" There wasn't room for all four of them underneath James' invisibility cloak, and they hadn't all fit under there in quite a long time. Now whenever they snuck out, one of them had to try and get out without being under the cloak, and usually they were pretty successful at it. The best by far, though, was Sirius, who seemed to be an expert at evading the teachers. The other three had gotten detention at least once, Peter getting it twice, but Sirius had never been caught.

"Eh, I'm in a good mood tonight. I'll do it," Sirius said happily.

"Taking one for the team, I like it. I'll grab my cloak." James ran upstairs and quietly rummaged through his trunk, grabbing the silvery cloak that had been passed down though his family for many years. Once he'd gotten back downstairs, he had Sirius toss it over him, Remus and Peter, and they made their way carefully, silently, downstairs. Several times Sirius had to duck inside of empty classrooms at the sound of some footsteps, and it was a tight squeeze getting out the front doors of the castle, but they made it. Once they were outside, the four boys took off at a run,not stopping until they were safely hidden in the clearing just inside the Forbidden Forest.

They tossed off the cloak breathlessly, all four of the boys sporting huge grins and laughing. A successful trip out of the castle in the middle of the night always brought the same thrills; at first Remus hadn't liked the idea of breaking the rules and sneaking out, but he'd gotten used to it over the years, and even he now had a good time with his friends when they went on their nighttime adventures. Especially tonight.

"Alright, Sirius, show us! It'll be time for you own nickname soon enough," Moony said, elbowing Prongs.

"Okay. Stand back," Sirius said. The three boys moved back a little. An intense look of concentration passed over Sirius' handsome face, and then he turned into a big, black shaggy dog. The dog formerly known as Sirius barked happily and wagged his tail; Remus laughed and said, "Brilliant!" and rubbed Sirius' head. Peter was standing next to Remus, and even he couldn't be upset or jealous anymore; it was simply too _cool_ that a second ago there had been Sirius, their tall, dark haired, smug, sarcastic friend, and now there was a black shaggy dog standing in his place.

Nobody noticed James right away.

As soon as Sirius had changed into a dog, as soon as it had clicked in his head what his best friend's Animagus form was, he backed away. The hair on his arms and the back of his neck were standing up. His brain was running at a million miles a second. He bumped into a tree as he was backing up, and he felt like he was going to be sick. His palms had started sweating and he jammed his eyes shut. The only coherent thing he could think was _dog_-of all things, of every animal in the entire world, Sirius Black was a _dog_.

James didn't like dogs.

He was shaking, the tree he was leaning heavily against the only thing that was keeping him upright. His legs felt like jelly. He rocked back and forth slightly, his eyes still closed, but they flew open when he heard a low bark come from the dog _(that dog is Sirius don't forget that James it's Sirius not some dog on the street that doesn't have a leash or something but it's still a __**dog**__)_ and both of his other friends turned and looked at him.

"James? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Remus asked, concerned, as he walked over to him. James just shook his head, unable to say anything, unable to take his eyes off the thing in front of him that was causing such an extreme reaction in him. Peter came closer to him, too, and then the dog bounded over to him, standing right next to Remus. Without a second thought, James turned and ran.

He heard his friends calling behind him, but he just ran, pushing his way through the trees, branches scraping against his arms and leaving scratches, but he felt none of it. He ran until he was out of the forest and looking up at the clear night sky. But he could hear the other boys pushing their way out, too, because the clearing was not so far inside the Forbidden Forest, so he started running again. He found an empty courtyard that no one really spent much time at during the day, let alone at 1 o'clock in the morning, and he pushed himself into a tiny niche, a carved out section of the castle wall that hid him from the courtyard.

He leaned back against the wall, breathing hard from the long run. He hung his head and pushed his fingers through his hair, shivering from a combination of the chilly night air and what had just happened. Hot tears fell from his eyes, both embarrassment and fear pulsing through him. Part of him couldn't believe that he'd reacted that strongly, and he wondered what the hell he was going to tell his friends. The calm, cool, collected, confident James Potter had just totally gone to pieces in a clearing in the woods, all over seeing his best friend transform into a dog. How was he going to explain that away? Another part of him was still reeling from the complete and utter fear that he had felt. His heart was still beating quickly, and not from the run. He still had goosebumps and his hands were shaking.

James _definitely_ didn't like dogs.

He had never had a bad experience with a dog that had caused this fear, at least that he knew of, but he had never been comfortable around them. Well, that was putting it mildly. One time when he was younger, about seven, there had been a boy he knew who had invited him round to his house to play. James, even then outgoing and normally happy, had gone to the boy's house, only to be greeted by the family dog. It wasn't the first time he'd seen one, but it had been the first time he'd been so close to one, and it terrified him. He'd always been filled with unease whenever he saw one on the street, and he'd been careful to steer clear of them. He'd started crying and had run away, similarly to how he'd just acted, he thought bitterly. Something about dogs scared the hell out of him, and he didn't understand why.

He stayed hidden in his spot for a while, unsure of how much time was passing, until he felt himself calming down again. He was thinking about getting up and going back to the castle, wondering whether someone had grabbed the cloak and wondering if he should tell his friends that he'd gotten sick, when he heard a familiar voice hissing his name.

"James! James, are you over here?" Sirius, entirely back to his human form and walking around on two legs, wandered into the moonlit courtyard and started looking around. James wasn't prepared for the quick feeling of anxiety he felt looking at his best friend. It was gone in a second, because, after all, Sirius was back to normal, but still...for a second...

"James?" Sirius called his name again quietly, and with a sigh, he shoved himself to his feet and went out. "There you are! What in the hell happened back there?"

"N-nothing. I just...I really didn't feel good, I just got sick all of a sudden." James said, trying to sound as if it wasn't a big deal. Sirius wasn't buying it, though. He crossed his arms and looked at him.

"Have you forgotten that I know you better than anyone else? Don't lie to me. What happened?"

James sighed. He actually had forgotten that he'd never been able to lie to Sirius before, but he didn't want to tell him. He didn't want to reveal that James Potter, the guy who always appeared so in control, had a vulnerability. A pretty big one. But he knew he would have to.

"Fine." He sighed. "Okay. You have to promise you're not going to laugh at me or something." Sirius nodded, raising his hands in a mock surrender. "I...am afraid of dogs."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "You're afraid of dogs?"

"Yeah. Like really afraid. I can't even be around them without freaking out, as you saw."

"Why? Did you get bit by one or something?" Sirius asked.

"No. That's the weird part. It's not like I was bitten or someone else around me was. I'm just...absolutely terrified of them," he shrugged a little.

Sirius rocked back and forth a little. "Well, you know that it's just me in there when I'm a dog. I'm not going to hurt you." He said slowly.

"Yeah, I know. Well, when I see you, I don't know. I just lose my mind." James said quietly. "I'm sorry, it's nuts. Sirius, I don't know how I'm going to be able to be around you when you're a dog."

"Hey, you know that if I had a choice in this I would change it in a second." Sirius said quickly.

"Yeah, I know." James muttered.

"But since I can't...I don't know, we'll figure something out. Maybe you'll get better with me being a dog in time." Sirius said hopefully, but privately, James wasn't so sure. There might come a time when, after being around him for a while, he wouldn't be so incredibly uncomfortable and afraid...but he didn't think there'd ever be a time when he wouldn't be at least a little scared of dogs. "I think we should head back to the castle, it's like 2:30am."

The pair set off for the castle, stifling yawns.

"Did anybody get my invisibility cloak?" James asked.

"Yeah, Moony grabbed it on the way out as we were chasing you. He came up with a nickname for me. You can now formally address me as Padfoot." Sirius said in a regal voice.

James chuckled weakly. "Yeah, that, uh, totally fits your...Animagus."

"I promise I'm not going to bite you or anything, Prongs! Maybe your deer-self will be less afraid of puppies." Sirius said jokingly, and James rolled his eyes. He had a bit of a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Let's stick to the 'Prongs got sick' story with the others, okay?" James said pleadingly to Sirius.

"Are you kidding me? And miss a chance to tell our friends that the arrogant prat known as James Potter is afraid of man's best friend? No way."

James sighed. He wondered if the threat of spearing him with his antlers would be enough to get Sirius to shut up...he wished he could have been afraid of spiders, or clowns, or even the dark. Even that would be better than being afraid of what your best friend could turn into.


End file.
